Kev the calming Koala

I got a weighted teddy bear. His name is Kev the calming Koala. He is my new friend. Yes, I know I'm a grown man. This neither fits with matcho toxic masculinity, nor being a supposed adult. Frankly I'm past caring, also who wants to be toxic. Even though I have long been an adult I still love a good soft toy. I still have a wee dog from when I was a baby tucked away somewhere. In fact my wife and I had a proverbial army of soft toys even before baby number one came along. I do remember getting harshly judged for it in my lonely single days. But, it came as no surprise to me that there can be a connection to autism and seeking some kind of sensory, non-human, comfort in this way. In fact I was delighted when a suggestion came from somewhere or other, probably online, that getting a weighted soft toy as a freshly diagnosed autistic adult was in fact a good idea. So I did!

As Sensory Hugs, who sell these and other autism related items, say, "This lovely soft and cuddly Koala weighs 4lb (1.8kg). He is a perfect friend for a child or adult seeking additional sensory feedback. His weight and size provide proprioceptive input that can soothe and calm an overactive brain. He can help with anxiety, insomnia and issues associated with autism."

In a way it seems like a cute and fun idea that extends from the more basic and practical sensory weighted blanket idea. 

Anyway, I wanted to let folks know where I'm at on my neurodiversity journey. You may have seen the post on diagnosis. Since the diagnosis I have more or less just tried to sit with it. Trying not to overthink about it. Initially I was only going to tell very close family, like Mum and my wife. In the end I did decide to let my boss and seniors at work know and they have been kind and supportive. I accidentally told some church folks, but no idea if they noticed it slip into the conversation or not. As you know I have also let my readers in on the story to. It has ended up a fairly open piece of information. Some know, some don't, some knew (or suspected) already before I was diagnosed. 

I guess I'm more OK with people knowing than I thought I would be at the start. One of the good things is that No.6 one stop shop in Edinburgh knows about it and I've been signed up for a support group for late diagnosed adults starting this month, so I will see how that goes. 

I am still in a strange place where I'm a bit annoyed sometimes that I wasn't diagnosed earlier, but on the flip side of that wondering if knowing young would have helped or hindered my growth. I know my Mum was outspoken that I needed extra support at school, which I got a bit of in my tiny Island primary school and a tiny bit of first year in secondary. After that I have been on my own in a way struggling on some level in a neurotypical world, from school, to uni, to work. But, it is just one of those things. I am glad I know now. And hey I get an excuse to adopt Kev!